Thursday, April 29, 2010

Sabbatrical update

I'm growing a little frustrated since I'm told that these posts are NOT showing up on my Facebook profile in a timely manner.  Facebook and this blog seem to get along just fine for weeks at a time then suddenly stop speaking.  It's unfortunate that they've chosen this moment to misbehave.  I hope it will fix itself but I'm sticking to my discipline of not engaging with social media during this retreat.

The writing is going very well. I'm very happy.

I've been informed that "The Wind in the Willows" is NOT typically the sort of reading they get at lunch time.  Brother Andrew has been, shall we say, agitating for it or something like it for a while.  And recently he got his wish.

The following should not be taken as a criticism of Holy Cross Monastery or the brothers of the Order.  I've found the worship here to be a little - strange?  We are invited to be with the brothers when they worship.  But it is very different from the sense of communal worship to which I am accustomed.  It is THEIR worship.  Inevitably there is a feeling that I am merely an observer.  For the first several days I found this a little (just a little) off putting.  I'm beginning to reach a new understanding however.  Yes I am still an "outsider" to a degree and probably always will feel that way.  But the services (I've missed only Matins each day since I've arrived.  I'll make it at least once.  I promise.  Eucharist, Diurnum, Vespers and Compline every day) now offer me a different spiritual experience.  It is transcendent in a completely different way.  It will be interesting to see how that grows during my final two days here.

It is clear to me that while contemplative prayer will always be important to me I am NOT meant to be a full time contemplative or monastic.  I'd go nuts and I'd take my poor prior or superior with me.  My gift to the monastic movement will be to not take a life vow, LOL!

Brief chats with folks on retreat here at the same time reinforces my belief that my little work on personal prayer is a needed resource.  It also seems like if it's any good at all there is a demand for such a thing.  We'll see.

Went outside the building for the first time since Tuesday when I arrived.  I don't carry a watch most days or my cell phone or even my wallet.  Don't miss them either.  Went outside to call home (no cell phones to be used in the Guesthouse.  My phone has been turned off this week.  I check it twice a day for messages.  None so far, which is lovely) and to walk the labyrinth.

The Great Silence hasn't been that bad.  Silence at breakfast is actually kind of nice.

The food continues to be unbelievably good.  Grilled chicken with grilled asparagus and fennel with a Yukon Gold potato salad for lunch.  Fresh Turkey noodle soup with a salad and Danish Blue cheese dressing plus wonderful multi-grain rolls for dinner.

I am insanely happy.

Peace

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