Patience.
Everyone keeps reminding me. Healing, particularly of a serious problem, takes time. Take the time you need to heal, take it easy, don't push too hard, too soon, too fast. Be patient.
Yeah, well...
Every day is different. One day I feel good, the next day I'm wiped out. Is the overall trend towards getting better? Without a doubt. Is it less than three weeks since the bomb went off in my head? Yep, it'll be three weeks tomorrow.
So where am I? I still have a very light headache every day. Could be the last remnants of the stroke or could be side effect of the drugs. I still take two pills every four hours. That will end tomorrow at 11 PM. Which means I might actually get a full night's sleep tomorrow night. That would be a first since the stroke. Not surprisingly I'm tired to one degree or another all the time. Some days are better than others. On the good days I try to do a little more and the next day I'm wiped out again.
The cumulative effect is that I don't feel like I really want to do much of anything about half the time. The other half is spent trying to do things that won't totally wipe me out. I did four things this past weekend - went to a two hour meeting where I could just sit quietly, went to church where I could just sit quietly, walked the local mall and went to a youth event where I mostly just sat quietly. Woke up this morning feeling like I'd spent the weekend working out.
Sigh.
Patience. Taking things slow. Not expecting too much too soon. My hope now is that I'll be closer to my "usual" self by the new year. That would be about 2.5 months. I have to be honest and say that even that might be optimistic. So now I'm trying to learn patience. A little bit each day.
In the end I have no choice. I can only go as far and as fast as my body allows. The goal is not to get well fast but to get well. Doing it right means taking the time I need.
Patience.
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