So That's What A Stroke Feels Like

That's been one of my favorite lines over the last couple years. When things would get a little crazy I'd just put my hand to my forehead and say “So this is what a stroke feels like”. Always gets a laugh.

I won't be saying that ever again.

On Tuesday October 26 around 5:40 PM I was sitting at my computer in my home office.
Everything was perfectly normal.

Then someone threw a switch. And it felt like the monster from “Alien” was trying to come out of the middle of my skull. I later found out that a small vein near the center of my brain broke open and blood pumped into my my brain. It was the worst pain I've ever experienced.

At that moment we were actually under a tornado watch and I thought it might be related to a sudden drop in air pressure near the storm. I went down stairs to look around and grab a couple aspirin. Then I lay down. Within minutes it became apparent that something was WRONG. The pain actually got worse. Then the nausea. I grabbed my phones and ran to the bathroom. I called 911, then called my wife and waited slumped over the toilet. That's where they found me, curled up in a ball on the floor.

(Yes, I know I'm pretty deep into TMI territory here. Bear with me)

By the time the ambulance arrived (thank you Mayville Fire Rescue, you are the best!). They got my information, got me on the gurney, left a note for my family and got me rolling to the hospital in Westfield.

By this time I'm terrified in addition to being in great pain. Hell, terrified doesn't even come close.  I know a stroke has to be high on the list of answers to the question “What the hell is going on?”. A few years ago my mother died of a stroke. And I don't want to die. And it hurts so much. Just beyond terror is insanity and I got closer than I care to ever be again.

We arrive at the hospital. The lights had been giving me trouble in the ambulance so we had a towel draped across my eyes. They wheeled me in and I heard the ambulance crew tell the ED staff the basics of the case. The next words I remember were some of the best I'd hear that day.

“Jay, it's Dena”

Dena is a long time friend who just happened to be on duty that night. She took my hand and suddenly I had a small stable place to hang on to in the midst of the nightmare. It's what I needed.

(A moment to thank all the folks who helped during this. I was too far gone to remember much of the ambulance crew but I think it was Joyce and Josh riding in back with me. Then Cathy and Dena and Michael Woltz the PA, when I got to St. Vincent's the list of nurses became incredibly long. I know I've forgotten some, especially when I first arrived, but special blessings on Jackie, the two Kims, Patty, Diane, Shauna and Kelly who were with through my time in Intensive Care. Also Drs. Romero (Neuro) and Zeto(internist I think) who were also great)

Things changed once I got to the hospital. And that was good. I still have more to this story I want to share but that comes later.