Movie reviews

Best Worst Movie (2009) - I don't know if I saw this movie in the proper order.  Should I have actually seen Trolls 2, the current front runner in the "Worst Movie of All Time" derby and the subject of this documentary, or should I see this first and THEN watch Troll 2?  I'll never know because you have to go one way or the other and I went this way.  The documentary is done by Michael Stephenson who played the son in the 1989 film.  The movie is "Plan 9 From Outer Space" bad and still to this day the actors don't quite know what to do with the experience.  It's fascinating to watch them get their moment in the spotlight as the movie suddenly becomes a cult favorite.  At the same time it struck me as a terribly sad movie.  The documentary focuses on Dr. George Hardy, an Alabama dentist who becomes the Capt. Kirk figure in this cult.  He and several other cast members get to hear the screaming fans but also experience the ignominy of sitting at a fan convention where you are utterly ignored.  The stories of several of the rest of the cast are equally sad.  The actress who played the mom now trapped in her own home and pretty clearly her own neuroses.  One actor who was actually on a day leave from a psychiatric hospital during filming.  Another who lives utterly alone in retirement apparently without friend or family at the end of his life.  And finally the director of the original movie Italian movie maker Claudio Fragasso, a man trapped by his belief that Troll 2 is in fact an important and well made movie.  (Even the title is a fraud.  There WAS a Troll but it has NOTHING to do with Troll 2 which basically just stole the title for marketing purposes.  There aren't even any trolls in the movie!).  The actors seem like nice people to whom something strange and slightly disturbing has happened.  It's a fascinating story.  And I have Troll 2 up next in my movie queue.

Trolls 2 - (1990) - Wow.  I mean...wow.  That's a bad movie.  It's the story of a family who takes a vacation in a small town in the middle of nowhere.  The little town of Nilbog looks nice enough in a kind of creepy Stepford kind of way (except without women.  There appear to be a total of three women in the whole town).  What they discover is that Nilbog is the home of goblins (what's nilbog spelled backwards?  Yeah that's the level of sophistication of the script).  Ugly evil little monsters who turn humans into vegetables so they can eat them.  They're vegetarians don't you know.  Add in a creepy ghost of Grandpa (who sounds a lot like Burl Ives which makes him all the creepier) and a goblin queen who is just freaky and you're off and running.  Oh and don't forget the corn porn scene.  Can't do it justice you have to see it to believe it.  So is this the "Worst Movie Ever"?  Sorry can't go there.  It's a BAD movie.  It's an AWFUL movie without a doubt.  The script is horrible and the acting is worse.  It's filled with so wretched they're hysterical bits of dialogue and illogical just about everything.  Badly directed, written and acted.  So why isn't it the worst of all time?  Because the photography shows burst of both professionalism and creativity.  This is more a "trying for the campiness of Rocky Horror and failed" than the supreme low budget awfulness of the defending champion of all that is bad "Plan 9 From Outer Space".  It lacks those moments of inspired badness like the chase through the graveyard in Plan 9 where the clearly cardboard head stones wave in the breeze of a passing actor.  The closest Trolls 2 comes is when Creepy Grandpa Seth says "We only have 10 minutes.  When that clock strikes 6 I'll gone for good this time".  Cut to the clock which clearly reads 5:55.  Plan 9 is filled with those massively bad moments.  Trolls 2 just comes up short.  But it is certainly in the top 3 I'd say.

Note: I'd actually recommend watching the movies in the order I did.  You'll have a much better appreciation of what you're watching.

Rounders - (1998) This is a really good movie that gives you a little look into the mind of the serious card player.  For these folks it's not "gambling" it's their job and a way of life.  The cast for this one is an absolute stunner - Matt Damon, Edward Norton, John Malkovich, Gretchen Mol, and Martin Landau.  The script is tight and the characters are good.  If you have no interest in No Limits Texas Hold 'em Poker you might not be interested.  I'd say give it a shot, the characters and the interplay especially between Damon and Norton make the card playing just a background.  A background against which an amazing story is played.  Highly recommended.

Despicable Me - (2010) Had a couple spare minutes and this looked like it would be fun.  Turns out I was right.  Let's be honest, the real stars of this movie are the three little girls and the Minions.  Gru, Vector and Dr. Nefario are all fun but strictly straight men for the stars.  Fun movie, some quotable lines.  What more do you really need for this kind of movie?  Recommended.

Two movies that I will admit I have only seen parts of:

Dinner For Schmucks - (2010) I was absolutely prepared to hate this movie.  It looked to be a classic "moron humor" movie for which I bear no affection at all.  I must admit that I went back to try and catch the parts I had missed (I've seen about 50% of the movie at this point) because it turned out to be more engaging than I thought.  This movie, MUCH to my surprise, actually has a heart.  And it's rather endearing and funny.  Took me totally by surprise.  Not saying it's a great movie.  But certainly worth a look.  Recommended.


Scott Pilgrim vs The World - (2010) I decided to give this movie a shot.  Not because I had any real hope that I'd like it but because I really liked Michael Cera in "Juno".  This movie isn't Juno, not by a long shot.  The movie is based on a graphic novel series and to be honest should have stayed there.  It's basically a one joke movie and it gets old fast.  The sudden lurches between a realistic world and the comic book world are disconcerting away from the print medium.  I figured I was just "too old to get it" until I looked at the box office.  Pretty much every one other than diehard fans stayed away from this one.  Good call.  Don't waste your time.